Y'know, I often see a lot of "Dad joke" moments in TV shows, films, etc. where a child complains, "I'm hungry," and the Dad replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Dad."
It's cheesy and stereotypical, and we are meant to laugh, or roll our eyes, and move on. But perhaps we should instead see that mistaking temporal states (e.g. hunger, anger, etc.) as a permanent fixture is a characteristic of children, not mature adults.
Likewise, in J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan, the fairy Tinker Bell is described as being so small that she can't hold more than one feeling at a time.
The implication is that the bigger humans are supposed to be able hold more than one emotions, rather than being entirely consumed by it. That even while we are feeling angry, we still have room to show compassion.
wow...that's a beautiful connection you have drawn there...love it. You've made it less abstract and more practical with those ideas of being a mature/big human with the ability to hold two (even seemingly contradictory) emotions...interesting... how do you personally think we can get better at holding space for more than one feeling at a time?
Well, I haven't formulated anything concrete, but I think recognizing where our emotions come from helps. Just pausing for a few seconds to ask ourselves, "Why are you feeling this way?" instead of ruminating, "I feel X, therefore I must do Y," could do a lot.
For example, when I'm working on something, and someone interrupts me to ask for my help, I might get really angry and be tempted to shut that person out. But when I ask myself, "is what I'm doing so important to get mad about its interruption?" ... well, I might still feel somewhat annoyed, but not to the degree that I'll be willing to fight someone over it.
that's a thoughtful and mindful way to go about it. like a habit we need to get trained at because as you know it's not easy to pause in the heat of the moment...i guess that is the difference between maturity and immaturity: being able to pause and not letting your emotions override your intelligence. thanks for sharing your thoughts. Appreciate it. Great to have you here...
Y'know, I often see a lot of "Dad joke" moments in TV shows, films, etc. where a child complains, "I'm hungry," and the Dad replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Dad."
It's cheesy and stereotypical, and we are meant to laugh, or roll our eyes, and move on. But perhaps we should instead see that mistaking temporal states (e.g. hunger, anger, etc.) as a permanent fixture is a characteristic of children, not mature adults.
Likewise, in J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan, the fairy Tinker Bell is described as being so small that she can't hold more than one feeling at a time.
The implication is that the bigger humans are supposed to be able hold more than one emotions, rather than being entirely consumed by it. That even while we are feeling angry, we still have room to show compassion.
wow...that's a beautiful connection you have drawn there...love it. You've made it less abstract and more practical with those ideas of being a mature/big human with the ability to hold two (even seemingly contradictory) emotions...interesting... how do you personally think we can get better at holding space for more than one feeling at a time?
Well, I haven't formulated anything concrete, but I think recognizing where our emotions come from helps. Just pausing for a few seconds to ask ourselves, "Why are you feeling this way?" instead of ruminating, "I feel X, therefore I must do Y," could do a lot.
For example, when I'm working on something, and someone interrupts me to ask for my help, I might get really angry and be tempted to shut that person out. But when I ask myself, "is what I'm doing so important to get mad about its interruption?" ... well, I might still feel somewhat annoyed, but not to the degree that I'll be willing to fight someone over it.
that's a thoughtful and mindful way to go about it. like a habit we need to get trained at because as you know it's not easy to pause in the heat of the moment...i guess that is the difference between maturity and immaturity: being able to pause and not letting your emotions override your intelligence. thanks for sharing your thoughts. Appreciate it. Great to have you here...